At this point in the season my back has totally given up on me. Despite the obvious drawbacks I’m considering my choice of opioid. While I make that choice, alcohol is my preferred painkiller. I am not sure Mrs Seagull is being quite as sympathetic as I’d like. “If you are not swanning off to cricket all day you can do some of those DIY jobs I have lined up for you instead.” Where’s the flipping Oxy?