Quokkas Cricket Club

An Ode to Greatness

First game of the season was against Rocky ridge
We kept them to 157 so the chase was a cinch

But the Quokkas were collapsing with wickets and woe
Until til the crease entered the wonder boy Hendo

The boy from Brunswick west was in the town
And the ridge bowlers were smashed all around

79 of the most glorious runs
Which through the gloom brought us the sun

Reigate CC 133–8 (Faggie 3-15, Ali 2-19, Irfan 2-28) beat Quokkas CC 125 all out (Faggie 14, Seagull 18 not out)

I realise now that I have been wasting my life. Rather than spend my weekends standing in a field, basically watching other people play cricket, I should have been emulating Lord Gravy by hunting out the best roast dinner money can buy. He suggests The George in the Strand is the place to go, but unless they serve Yorkshire’s as the starter, I have my doubts it reaches the required Seagull standard. Due to having the back of an 80-year-old man, I have spent most the of Quokkas season perfecting my own Sunday roast rather than playing. I’m confident I’d win Master Chef, assuming they have a roast dinner category – I wouldn’t know, as I draw the line at watching civilians cook food as a form of entertainment.

Quokkas CCC 173 for 7 (Irfan 100 n/o) beat Wantage & Grove 169-6 (Ali 2 for 9, Radio 1 for 25, Josh 1 for 37)

I’ve not got a long-winded intro to this match report. My free time seems to have totally consumed by managing a hoard of unruly under 9 cricketers. I will never mention the amount of teacher’s school holidays again. They should get more time off. You’ll just have to make do with the basics, which are as follows:

Belhus CC 237 for 5 (Jez 2-20, Seagull 1-8) beat Quokkas CC 209 all out (Irfan 54, Jez 31, Josh 24, river 22)

Shit. I’m writing this match report in October and it has just dawned on me that I may have forgotten to pay the Dartford Crossing toll for the journey to Belhus. I’ve not heard anything, but no doubt the bailiffs are just waiting for my debt to reach six figures before getting in touch. If I can’t remember to do that, what chance do I have remembering who did what to who against Belhus CC five months ago? Let me try and find a scorecard and then I’ll make some stuff up.

Date: Sunday, February 2, 2025
Location: Fairfield Oval , Fairfield, VIC
Time: 1.45pm start
Captain: Sizzle

Conditions

It was hot, faaaaarkin hot. Our usual start time was moved from 12:30 to 47 degrees AEST.

Details

During the week we had more than a full squad. Come game day, we just scraped an XI together. Ice Man knows how to leave the ball but apparently not a 23rd beer the night before a match. Other withdrawals were more understandable but questionable nonetheless. Hair appointment anyone?