Quokkas Cricket Club

Quokkas CC 237-4 (Saleem 51 not out, Seagull 47 not out, Faggie 43) beat Wantage & Grove CC 172-5 (Hamza 1-20, Sohail 1-11, Dave 1-24)

I’m a `Clarkson’s Farm’ fan. OK, the guy is a proper wazzock, but I like how the series shed a light on the reality of farming and provided some insight into just how bloody hard it is. My Dad worked on a farm in his younger years, and consequently we were regularly forced to visit the Teesdales at their farm in Sykehouse whenever we ventured back up to Yorkshire. Helping to deliver, what turned out to be a dead calf, was a particularly haunting childhood memory, but it wasn’t all bad. Getting to ride in the cab of a cattlebox, drive a tractor and load hay bales in the glorious summer sunshine created a lasting affinity to farming.

ACME CC 181 for 7 (Skip 2-15) beat Quokkas CC 142 all out (Faggie 32, Seagull 29, Driver 25, Evil 25)

Another day, another BBC news story about Seagulls, this time a bird has been banned from a store for shoplifting. The gull, named Steven has a penchant for BBQ beef flavoured crisps apparently and due to a six-year thieving spree, the desperate owner has put up `Wanted’ posters. This follows a story last month about a gull, also called Steven, that was regularly raiding a Bangor store for croissants whilst picking up his daily newspaper, the Cambrian News. Why are am I telling you this? Filler, just filler.

Coldharbour CC 189 all out (Evil 2-5, Yak 2-15, Prof 2-42) beat Quokkas CC 176 all out (Tugboat 77, Driver 24, Evil 22)

I didn’t get to see Interstellar at the cinema when it was released, so took advantage of rerun at my local Odeon. A few swift halves prior didn’t help my understanding of the fifth dimension and time continuum, but several previous `Pint of Science’ experiences should have prepared me for a lack of clarify alcohol brings to those subjects.

Gladiators CC 147-2 (Faggie 2-18) beat Quokkas 144 all out (Ali 35, Rashid 30, Hamza 22)

My name is Adrian Seagull Chesney, stand-in Commander of the Quokkas of the North, General of the Wheelhouse Legions, and loyal servant to the true skipper, Robin `Skip’ Bradley. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next… Er, sorry, I got a bit carried away there, but when else am I going to get that kind of opportunity?

Kidmore End CC 221-9 dec (Egg 2-17, Seagull 2-27) beat Quokkas CC 130 all out (Oliver 36, Evil Dave 28)

How was your winter? I was shot at, murdered and had my babies stolen. Well, not me personally, but my nickname’s sake. Despite being the most regularly featured animal in BBC news stories, on the Red List of Birds of Conservation Concern and a national survey showing that winter gull population is declining. Despite this, Seagulls are under attack from air rifles in Sussex, crossbows in Ayrshire, anti-seagull measures in Dumfries and Galloway such as egg and nest removal, culls and control licenses. The idea that we are a nation of animal lovers seems to only extend to cats and dogs these days. God help you if you are a bird with a love of chips.