Salix 137-2 (Faggie 2-36) beat Quokkas 134 all out (Rachid 35, Egg 10no)
In between watching Youtube videos of vintage tractors being maintained, I spent a small part of my winter learning how to butcher a rabbit. Why? We’ll it’s a good thing to know should my plane ever crash and I find myself stranded on an desert island or indeed I have just decided to do a `Christopher McCandless ’ and leave you all behind for good. Mrs Seagull looked at me like I had gone mad. But as I said to her, we should all understand where our burgers come from and maybe even to have butchered the animal (at least once) before we get to eat that kind of meat.
“Maybe it should be part of the curriculum?” I suggested, when discussing this with a friend one evening whilst watching Fareham Town (Ed: Exciting game then?) only to discover that it was, at least at his junior school. Despite the 1970s and 80s being a very different time, I couldn’t believe this had happened, but supporting images were provided on WhatsApp of a skinned rabbit with some slightly disturbed kids looking on.
“What did you do at school today Katie? Learn your ABCs and play Lego?”
“No, we killed, skinned and gutted a rabbit.”
Which is exactly what happened to the Quokkas on Sunday.
Seagull doesn’t always choose bowl first when he wins a toss, but maybe he should. The Quokkas, now with a 1 and 6 win/loss record, were absolutely annihilated, thanks to a decidedly average batting display and an inability to get the Salix skipper out. Evil Dave opened the batting and discovered his inner Boycott. His innings consisted of dot. dot. two. dot. dot. dot. dot. dot. four. dot. dot. dot. dot. dot. dot. dot. dot. dot. dot. dot. dot. dot. dot. dot. dot. Solid start mate. However, the drinks break and a change to spin saw him out two balls later. Blast.
Fellow opener Radio John found his inner Mike Gatting, taking a beamer to the face, retiring hurt and spending the rest of the afternoon looking for a blender so he could consume some lunch. Thankfully, for him, his face looks better than his shins. Just.
Les had bought a new bat. One day it will come into contact with the ball. Today was not it. Ali was out for 1, caught, obviously. Enjoy that two-hour drive home mate. Faggie played well, but even he was struggling to score against some very tight bowling and when looking to be more expansive was out caught for 19. From 32 for no wicket, we were 46-4. Time to consolidate. Maybe not. Sohail miscuing a lofted drive the very next ball for a simple catch.
Thankfully Umair survived the hattrick ball and went on to play well, supporting Rashid excellently as they took us to 85. Following his half century at the same ground last week, it was another great knock from Rashid. He may have spent a little too long at the Faggie school of running between wickets, but once again, the boundary or nothing method worked to great effect. Sadly, he was out trying to play another lofted drive, which meant we were in big trouble.
Unfortunately, there was no sign of our opponents taking their foot off the gas. Pre-match the Salix skipper had talked about ‘Sunday wides’ and `very friendly games’, so it was a slight surprise with five men down and not too many runs on the board to see the opening bowlers brought back on. I suppose they had gone for a massive 28 runs from their previous ten overs. Our resident Aussie remarked at tea that it was a “good decision. That’s how you should captain a side Seagull.”
The Yak hit a couple of nice shots, before both he and Umair were out, helping the spinner to his first ever five-for. (Ed: That’s what I call being `Sunday friendly’). The Egg held up an end nicely and went on to achieve a red ink and 10 runs to his name. With four overs left Seagull, came in and smashed 16 of 6 balls. Quokkette Natalie asked “why is he batting so low down the order?” Prompting his immediate dismissal. “Oh, that’s why.”
Radio John did return, enabling us to add seven more runs, but he too was done by the `spinner’ bowling the ball in the vicinity of the wickets. All in all, it was a pretty terrible batting performance, except for the Egg, who is having a glorious season with the bat.
At tea we discussed our favourite Rubicon flavours (Ed: Lychee wins hands down), open air theatre performances and the decline of the long-billed vulture which has led to half a million deaths in India. All fascinating stuff, but with the blistering afternoon sun heating up the last of Sohail’s sausage rolls it was time to chase long hops to the boundary.
When Sohail tells you that he had a dream last night that he opened the bowling with a brand-new ball and took several wickets, you have got to take note (Ed:…and then ignore everything he has said completely, perhaps bringing him on fourth change? Yes) Sadly, I didn’t do that, chucking him the cherry, to which he rewarded us by going for ten an over.
Actually, it was Faggie that opened the bowling and he clean-bowled the opener with the very first ball of the innings. A lovely in-swinging yorker that would have beaten most players. Nice start. It was all uphill from there though. That’s not true. He got the other opener out too, but that merely brought in the skipper (Raj) who hit an almost faultless 92 not out. The end.
It wasn’t completely faultless. Faggie did draw an edge at the very start of his innings, but the ball flew between slips Rashid and Umair. It was a very tough chance. If taken, it may have changed the game. If. Ali also bowled very well and kept Raj relatively in check. Unfortunately, his defence was as good as his attack, and we just couldn’t wheedle him out. The Yak and Evil Dave also had a go, but to no avail. With so few runs on the board, I didn’t even get the chance to turn to our own `spinners’. My apologies chaps.
I did notice when looking back through the scorebook that Radio John, who had scored one run, was listed as being out for a duck. I think that missing run would probably have made all the difference, so we’ll take a moral victory.
Seagull
Apologies for butchering that match report.