Kidmore End CC 221-9 dec (Egg 2-17, Seagull 2-27) beat Quokkas CC 130 all out (Oliver 36, Evil Dave 28)
How was your winter? I was shot at, murdered and had my babies stolen. Well, not me personally, but my nickname’s sake. Despite being the most regularly featured animal in BBC news stories, on the Red List of Birds of Conservation Concern and a national survey showing that winter gull population is declining. Despite this, Seagulls are under attack from air rifles in Sussex, crossbows in Ayrshire, anti-seagull measures in Dumfries and Galloway such as egg and nest removal, culls and control licenses. The idea that we are a nation of animal lovers seems to only extend to cats and dogs these days. God help you if you are a bird with a love of chips.
Although ornithological conservation success stories in the UK have been few and far between, one that has bucked the trend is Red Kites. This bread became extinct in the late 1800s in England and Scotland, but following a reintroduction and the release of 80 birds from Wales and Spain there are now about 6000 pairs in Britain. Several of those reside in Berkshire and we could see several circling above us looking for food during our game against Kidmore End Cricket Club. Although their diet is mostly carrion and roadkill, they will go after living pray like small rodents…or Quokkas. While standing in the outfield at, it certainly felt like we were being eyed as prey. With a wingspan of 1.5m, they are not small birds either, and I did wonder if they might have the strength to take a lean looking Sohail or Egg.
It’s been a while since the Quokkas ventured out to sunny Berkshire. During our last trip our opponents overheard Skip instructing Gymnast not to give leg before wickets and an invite to return never appeared. We might have a similar problem this winter. Despite Evil Dave’s best wrangling, I am not sure our plucky spirit and happy go lucky attitude will be enough to be asked back due to some, let’s say, very underwhelming batting. It certainly wasn’t for a lack of effort, but bowling at pace, with movement and accuracy will test the technique of all batsmen, especially so those without any. Which is a shame, because Kidmore End Cricket Club was another of those opponents with a wonderful ground, sightscreens, covers and fabulous clubhouse - perhaps the longest in cricket (Ed: it stretched further than I can hit the ball). The ground did have its’ drawbacks though. It was slightly disconcerting to hear that the neighbouring field had been turned into a dog training yard, with the owner erecting a barbed wire fence and threatening to shoot anyone entering to retrieve a cricket ball. Our opponents had nothing to fear, but as half our deliveries ended up there, we were putting our lives on the line.
Typically, as I went out for the toss, we had seven players. When Ali and Rachid joined the fold several overs in, the gaps in the field disappeared, but the number of boundaries didn’t. Actually, I’m overdramatising things for effect. Evil Dave and The Yak opened the bowling and delivered a wicket a piece and kept things pretty tight. However, it can be a mistake to take wickets and a decent South African came in and gave Ali some proper tap, which was disconcerting for the bowlers coming on after him. However, Sohail bowled perhaps his best spell for the Quokkas and managed to split the partnership. Sadly, the runs did continue to flow.
Once Skip joined us and took the helm, we went on the attack, and it paid almost immediate dividends. In came the field and on came Seagull, who beat the bat several times. Enough of the good stuff. Shit gets wickets, with the first coming from a missed full toss and the second from a half tracker beautifully caught by Yak. The theme continued. Professor, now known as Northern-Highlights, bowled a very good eight over spell, but got the prize wicket with a ball that troubled his own toes. That was thanks to a tremendous catch by Les, which saved himself from decapitation.
And that made a big difference to the scoring rate. Northern Highlight’s first four overs went for 32, while only 17 came from the second set of four. With Seagull suffering from old age, Skip brought on the spritely Egg. With the sun directly behind him, the `eclipse ball’ proved to be a masterstroke. The first wicket as a result of a Seagull catch at long on and the second he clean bowled a bamboozled number 7. Skip then enticed an edge to claim the ninth and last wicket. They had another batter, but with several first team bowlers to call upon, I think they were pretty confident 221 would be just enough for them to avoid defeat.
No tea sadly, but Mrs Bradly Sr had kindly prepared a batch of her lovely cheese scones, which meant no one went hungry. Over tea we discussed Sohail’s new Australian roommate, the folly of going to Iceland to see the Northern Lights and considered the renaming the club to that of a UK-based marsupial (Ed: the closest we got was The Squirrels). All fascinating stuff, and despite our desire to spend the rest of the day consuming scones, our opponents made us bat. Ali and Rachid opened, scoring 12 and 5. Sohail added one more. Yak 10 and Les 3. I think we might need a nightwatchman! Thankfully Oliver, who had kept wicket brilliantly on his Quokkas debut can also bat and he played a lovely innings, including six fours and six. We lost Professor and Skip cheaply, but Evil Dave provided Oliver with great support. Both were eventually out, followed swiftly by Seagull who left the Egg stranded on 1 not out. I am not sure he’d have knocked off the 92 needed in the remaining 6 overs, but for those that like to think positively, let’s just say that on another day, he might. So, we are off to a flying start to the season then.
The Gladiators are up next. Let’s hope we don’t fall flat on our face on the travelator.
Seagull