Quokkas CC 198-7 (Faggie 93 no, The Driver 34, Sohail 26) beat ACME CC 97 all out (Smruti 3-2, Driver 3-14, Seagull 2-17)
It is independence day and if you weren’t aware, Major League Cricket is here, debuting at a sold-out stadium in Texas of all places, backed by IPL brands and with an array of international stars only too happy to have another set of franchises willing to pay them big bucks. With the sport intrinsically linked to spectator eating and drinking, offering a never-ending series of breaks for television commercials, a feast of stats and continuous point scoring…it is perhaps the sport the yanks have always wanted. Actually, cricket really was the US national sport back in in the 1800s and in 1844 a cricket match between the United States and Canada was the first international sporting event, predating the first England Australia test by thirty odd years. Cricket is said to have been played in the US since the early 1700s, but it was Benjamin Franklin that helped to formalise the game when bringing a copy of the Laws of cricket back to the States after a visit to England.
I mentioned this to the outlaws from Pennsylvania, who were visiting us this week and over dinner I did my best to explain the rules of cricket. Confused faces quicky transformed into smiles when they discovered just how much the game revolved around food. Those faces reverted back to confusion when I mentioned that they should all really be huge cricket fans, as their local side, the Philadelphia Cricket & Community Club, was established back in 1868, predating the first game of American football by a whole year. With such great heritage, it was therefore slightly disappointing to learn that Major League Cricket had selected the neighbouring cities of Washington and New York to host teams instead. Another omission is Indianapolis, no doubt because Yak’s dad has yet to convert his frisbee golf course into a cricket ground.
Talking of unusual places for cricket pitches, I played at Southwick House at the weekend, which is where General Eisenhower (the first American President to watch test match cricket) committed to Operation Overlord and changed history. The Georgian mansion may be elegant, but the pitch is made of aging plastic and the outfield hasn’t been cut since D-Day. No sightscreens, boundary markings, tea or umpires made for a pretty grim experience all told. So, with standards dropping in the Hampshire league, it was nice to return to the fabulous surroundings, pitch like a snooker table and warm welcome of ACME Cricket Club for the visit of the Quokkas on the Sunday. I say warm, the weather wasn’t the best and with the days play at the first Test almost completely washed out, we were concerned that rain would ruin our day. So, we decided to put `Quokkaball’ into action, which consisted of some baseball-style big hitting and West Indian, circa 1984, field settings. This allowed the Quokkas to put on a bit of a show with both bat and ball and (Ed: spoiler alert) give us our third victory in a row against ACME.
With Skip at St. Georges Park giving Gareth Southgate a few tips, it once again fell to Seagull to direct the traffic. As usual there were one or two “requests” to bat first and to Faggie’s surprise, Seagull won the toss and chose to bat in conditions very much favouring the bowler. That decision looked particularly awful when the two opening bowlers had the ball boomeranging about in the early stages. At 12-4 from eight overs, the first four batters going for 0, 1, 2, 3, there was then some pressure on the `man from Kent’ to get some runs, otherwise the possibility of batting first again would be lost for ever.
And Faggie didn’t let the side down, scoring an almost perfect 93 not out (Ed: are you suggesting he gloved a ball through to the keeper and didn’t walk? Seagull: possibly). The innings began with a series of nudges into the covers, but ended with the ball flying to all parts. One six broke the guttering of neighbouring house. Another dissected the carpark beautifully. In the end he just ran out of overs to get his century thanks largely to Professor doing a great job of hogging the strike (Ed: good lad), but it was a terrific innings, nonetheless. It’s worth noting that the locals had Faggie on 76 runs and Prof on 26, instead of the 8 runs we gave him. They do look alike I suppose. I’m sure Egg will make the right choice when it comes to updating the player stats.
Faggie wasn’t the only man in the runs. Bazball was modelled on Sohail’s game and he went on the offensive straight from the off. A series of drives over and through the infield put our opponents on the back foot and got us back on track. Admittedly, the running between the wickets was woeful, but when you are smashing the ball to the boundary, who really cares? Of course, it didn’t last forever, but it’s always better to burn out than fade away.
With overs to play with, Smruti finally got the opportunity to demonstrate his batting prowess and he looked assured against both spin and pace. With a bat the size of a small redwood, runs began to flow and the stuttering start was now a distant memory. It took a tremendous caught-and-bowled to remove him, which just allowed Professor to come in and keep the scoreboard ticking over until the close of play.
The tea here is always tremendous and this year they had a vast array of breads, quiches, salads, cheeses, cakes and strawberries. Not sure Driver was all that impressed, but then again, if he had been in charge of the last supper, it would have been a takeaway. With such fine fare available, it’s not surprising the clubhouse is popular, and several slightly worse for wear locals dropped in to see if the bar was open. Sadly, it wasn’t, which was a shame, as without the likes of Todd or Paolo, we have lacked the topics of conversations only a man that likes the taste of Crest Super can inspire. Instead, over tea we discussed the growing appeal of women’s football, being eaten by a shark (not the appeal, just the possibility), the return of the shakers to Gigg Lane and of course the impending defeat for the Aussies in the Ashes. Wonderful, but with half a hundred weight of brie eaten, it was time devour our opponents.
Evil Dave opened the bowling, but the crosswind seemed to affect his direction, accuracy, length and accuracy. Did I mention accuracy? At the other end, Ali, sporting Australian style facial hair and a similar love for sledging, found the crosswind less of an issue. However, if you look like an Australian, sound like an Australian, the umpire probably thinks bowl like an Australian. As a result, several leg before wicket appeals went unheard, so he decided to bypass the umpire’s decision-making process, by clean bowling the opener.
Replacing Evil, Seagull got the ball somewhere near the stumps and as a result grabbed two wickets, one stumped (Ed: was it not a run out?) and one clean bowled. While at the other end, Smruti ripped through the top order, with several unplayable deliveries, including the famed tunnel ball. For the umpteenth time Seagull apologised for taking him off after just a few overs for simply being `too good’.
With the NHS cancelling Driver’s planned sex change, we were fortunate that he could grace our presence once more and he played a crucial role in the victory, claiming three wickets. That included a lovely caught and bowled, a beauty that tickled the off stump and with three slips and two gullys in place, he grabbed a third, I forget how, but probably caught. With The Professor deciding to use his knee to stop a powerful cover drive, Sohail replaced him in the attack and his unusual mix of beamers and just short of halfway balls caused a range of issues for batsman. A tremendous catch at second slip by Smruti put pay to a stubborn batsman, leaving the path clear for The Driver to take the final wicket.
Although Seagulls ability to orchestrate a closely fought game will come into question, the Quokkas don’t win by 100 runs very often, so we’ll take that and worry about hurt feelings next year.
Seagull