Quokkas CC 143-7 (Haider42, Saad 29, Jatin 24) beat ACME CC 139-6 (Radio John 3-28, Rashid 2-9, Jatin 1-9, Seagull 1-14)
In a summer of many hot days, this one was roasting. My sweat was sweating. Not a good time then for the air con on Mrs Seagull’s car to give up the ghost. I spent half the day with my head hanging out the car window like a dog. A communication breakdown saw a world first: the entire Quokkas line up in attendance before the first of our opponents had arrived. The 1:30pm start time slipped to 2:00pm and then 2:30pm. It was almost dark by the time some of us got home, which is saying something for the longest day.
The relocated ACME ground is how I imagine the Chernobyl sports club would look like now. The changing rooms smell like an eastern shot putter’s jock strap. The one redeeming feature when we last visited was the well-stocked bar. It was closed.
Thankfully ACME are much more welcoming than the venue and had brought an esky full of beers with them. These guys know how to look after a Quokka. That extended to lunch, which was a Sri Lankan fish curry, jackfruit curry and very spicy side dish. Two identical looking cakes were also on offer, but I have to say that the vegan version was better. (Ed: you’ve changed Seagull). Another World first, Faggie agreeing with me.
The cricket? Oh yes, we did our best to fit that in between all the eating and drinking.
The promise of said curry had swelled the ranks. A very keen Haider Junior offered his services as an opening batsman, opening bowler, wicketkeeper, captain, vice captain…
“Cheers mate. If you don’t mind fielding at long on for now, that would be great.”
We opened the bowling with Professor and Faggie, who both failed to get any wickets. Having slaughtered our opponents last season this was exactly as I planned, of course. Rashid and Benjamin Button (aka Radio John) didn’t have that problem, although some very friendly umpiring certainly helped. Rashid took a brace and some of those double bounces and tunnel balls helped Benjamin to three more wickets. I eventually took pity on Harder Jr, who was chomping at the bit, but despite some terrific pace bowling he failed to get a wicket too. He seemed a little non-plussed by my suggestion of less pace, more double bounces.
Our opponents were bolstered by a Hampshire Woman’s u15s player. Her brother looked equally talented and scored an almost faultless 50, which probably would have been a 100 if the long grass hadn’t come to our rescue. Anyone claiming his wicket (cough, Seagull) might have a story to rival the Hairdresser getting John Crawley out some day.
In the field we looked surprisingly decent, especially Jatin who was a one-man ring of steel. There was a great catch from Slick who ‘caught angry’ having been asked to move by the square leg umpire. Haider Jr also took a brilliant catch on the boundary as a batsman almost hit a cover drive for six. By the close of play, we had been set a healthy 148 to win, which with the slowest outfield since Serbia, wasn’t going to be easy.
Umair and Saad opened. Both seem to get better with every game. Saad especially played some very stylish shots and they set us on our way nicely. Over tea Haider Jr suggested he was more of a batsman than a bowler. No shortage of confidence.
“That’s great. How about nine?”
He went in at three and typically was caught third ball for one. He did look good though. Rashid then hit his usual array of lofted drives before being triggered by Faggie. Our friend Dave, fresh from taking nine wickets in his last game apparently, roared at Quokka batsman playing across the line…which was quite often. Once he reclaimed his own thigh guard and got rid of the helmet, Haider started to hit the ball miles, with one hook flying over the clubhouse roof. When he was eventually out, just short of his half century, Jatin and Faggie saw us calmly home.
A few beers and it was back in the hot box for the long drive home.
Seagull.