Quokkas Cricket Club

Match Report: Pride Game vs Holy Trinity CC

Date: Sunday, February 5th, 2023
Location: Hayes Park, Thornbury
Time: 9 a.m. start!!
Captain: Big Dave

From Captain “Big” Dave…

What an honour it was to captain the Quokkas again in our Pride match against Holy Trinity CC.

In What can only be described as our biggest match of the year, we had a cast of thousands and everyone was ready and rearing to go at 9am.

Off they go


Quokkas Baltic Tour

Due North

When the merchandise options are a snood, fleece and woolly hat, something has to have gone wrong with the tour planning, hasn’t it? Not exactly. We are off to Finland and Estonia and the weather’s not exactly balmy at this time of the year. Best be prepared. Why no one suggested Quokka umbrellas, I do not know.

As per usual, we spent a large part of the trip `rehydrating’, so may have missed some of Helsinki and Tallin’s highlights. There was a lack of the usual tour literature that outlines these, so I’ll fill you in now. Helsinki has the cleanest tap water of any big city. Finns are the unquestioned champions of sauna, with over 3 million of them. If you stay with a Finnish family, it wouldn’t be surprising to find more than one sauna in the home. Why? Why not? Finnish is extremely difficult to learn, with lots of compounded words. Here’s one of them lentokonesuihkuturbiinimoottoriapumekaanikkoaliupseerioppilas, although unless you are a non-commissioned student officer mechanic for airplane auxiliary jet engines, you probably won’t need to use it. Other than the Northern lights, the entertainment highlight is the Wife Carrying Championships. Milk is considered the national drink, but other popular tipples are sima, a low alcohol mead, Salmiakki Koskenkorva, a liquorish flavoured liquor and aloviina, which is a brandy cut with a grain spirit. Kippis.


Yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog’s eye

Harpenden Dolphins CC 185-9 (Smruti 3-18, Harry 2-25, Mike 2-34) beat Quokkas CC 184-7 (Seagull 52, Faggie 48, Tugboat 40)

It was a weekend of birthdays. Paul McCartney made it to 80 and The Yak is slowly catching him up. Both seemed to enjoy the celebrations. Neither seem to age. The similarities possibly end there unless Tom is also carrying pictures of Chairman Mao that I wasn’t aware of.

Paul may have been seen to break up the fab four when he wouldn’t delay the release of his solo album and then gave an answer to a journalist’s question that “The Beatles no longer existed”, but the truth is John Lennon quit the band some time previous and then they all kept quiet about it until they got their (tax) affairs in order. I’m no expert, but Yoko may have had something to do with John’s decision and maybe George’s desire to have his song writing skills recognised would have seen him jump ship if John hadn’t got to the punch first.


Quokkas discover white gold

Because the tour was somewhat hastily arranged, there wasn’t time to put the usual tourist pack together with some information about our destination. So, I will do that now.

Southend, closed since 1960, is tucked conveniently on the arse end of England, and is the murder capital of Essex, home to more drive through fast food restaurants per square mile than anywhere else in Britain and famous for being the home of the Access credit card. Home to the Shrimpers, a county lines issue and serious lack of culture. We recommend vaccinations for typhoid, cholera, yellow fever and rabies. Exemptions applicable to anyone that has visited Benidorm in recent years.


Recorrido por Benidorm

“So, where are we going on tour this year Skip?”

“We’re off to sunny Spain Seagull.”

“Oh, brilliant. I adore Spain. I love Espania. It’s is such a beautiful country. So much culture and amazing visual, historical and dining experiences.

“and we’re getting a villa on the Costa Blanca”

“That’s wonderful…the south eastern province has so much Greek, Phoenician, Carthaginian and the Roman history, there is also the Castillo de Santa Barbara, the Guadalest valley and the Fuentes d’algar, plus you can eat paella, arroz a banda or denia prawns accompanied by a fine Alicante Bouschet or Alicante Henri Bouschet.