Quokkas Cricket Club

Harpenden Dolphins CC 185-9 (Smruti 3-18, Harry 2-25, Mike 2-34) beat Quokkas CC 184-7 (Seagull 52, Faggie 48, Tugboat 40)

It was a weekend of birthdays. Paul McCartney made it to 80 and The Yak is slowly catching him up. Both seemed to enjoy the celebrations. Neither seem to age. The similarities possibly end there unless Tom is also carrying pictures of Chairman Mao that I wasn’t aware of.

Paul may have been seen to break up the fab four when he wouldn’t delay the release of his solo album and then gave an answer to a journalist’s question that “The Beatles no longer existed”, but the truth is John Lennon quit the band some time previous and then they all kept quiet about it until they got their (tax) affairs in order. I’m no expert, but Yoko may have had something to do with John’s decision and maybe George’s desire to have his song writing skills recognised would have seen him jump ship if John hadn’t got to the punch first.

Because the tour was somewhat hastily arranged, there wasn’t time to put the usual tourist pack together with some information about our destination. So, I will do that now.

Southend, closed since 1960, is tucked conveniently on the arse end of England, and is the murder capital of Essex, home to more drive through fast food restaurants per square mile than anywhere else in Britain and famous for being the home of the Access credit card. Home to the Shrimpers, a county lines issue and serious lack of culture. We recommend vaccinations for typhoid, cholera, yellow fever and rabies. Exemptions applicable to anyone that has visited Benidorm in recent years.

“So, where are we going on tour this year Skip?”

“We’re off to sunny Spain Seagull.”

“Oh, brilliant. I adore Spain. I love Espania. It’s is such a beautiful country. So much culture and amazing visual, historical and dining experiences.

“and we’re getting a villa on the Costa Blanca”

“That’s wonderful…the south eastern province has so much Greek, Phoenician, Carthaginian and the Roman history, there is also the Castillo de Santa Barbara, the Guadalest valley and the Fuentes d’algar, plus you can eat paella, arroz a banda or denia prawns accompanied by a fine Alicante Bouschet or Alicante Henri Bouschet.

It’s hardly surprising that the English like the Germans so much. Their love for football, sausages and beer very much mirrors our own and they have even embraced our game of cricket now too. With that in mind, what other reason would you need to join the quorum of Quokkas on this years’ tour of Hamburg? A quick straw poll to find out what tempted the others drew an almost universal “you’re not married with kids, are you Ches?” response. True, but despite lacking that additional motivation, I was no less keen to sample the world famous Reeperbahn, fish market and some of the finest Weizenbier known to man.