Quokkas Cricket Club

Match Report: Quokkas vs Hermy Heavy Hitters

He that soweth his seedes must harowe the grounde by and by, for els the byrdes wyll eate it awaye.
J. Palsgrave, Lesclarcissement 579/2

Match Facts

Date: Sunday, November 3, 2024
Location: Johnny Mullagh Oval, Harrow, VIC
Time: 1pm start

So what’s Harrow all about then?

With Rev focussing on the physical history of Harrow in the Match Preview, I will start with a journey of etymology. While the definition of harrow in the sense of using a harrow ’to crush, plow or pulverise the soil’ is familiar to all, there are some surprisingly gruesome alternatives.


The Maltese Quokkas

I distrust a man that says “when”. If he’s got to be careful not to drink too much, it’s because he’s not to be trusted when he does.

Those familiar with The Maltese Falcon, will know it is a film noir about a detective dealing with unscrupulous adventurers seeking a jewel encrusted falcon statuette that was offered as a tribute to the emperor, but lost to pirates. Look a little deeper and the movie is about corruption and greed, with the falcon symbolising Sam Spade’s quest for the truth. I am not sure the Quokkas touring party contains too many unscrupulous members, but we certainly seek the truth on every trip. The truth as to who can survive on the least amount of sleep, who can consume their own bodyweight in beer and calamari, and who can force themselves to play two games of cricket in 30-degree heat when lazing by the pool seems a damn sight more appealing.


Quokkas Baltic Tour

Due North

When the merchandise options are a snood, fleece and woolly hat, something has to have gone wrong with the tour planning, hasn’t it? Not exactly. We are off to Finland and Estonia and the weather’s not exactly balmy at this time of the year. Best be prepared. Why no one suggested Quokka umbrellas, I do not know.

As per usual, we spent a large part of the trip `rehydrating’, so may have missed some of Helsinki and Tallin’s highlights. There was a lack of the usual tour literature that outlines these, so I’ll fill you in now. Helsinki has the cleanest tap water of any big city. Finns are the unquestioned champions of sauna, with over 3 million of them. If you stay with a Finnish family, it wouldn’t be surprising to find more than one sauna in the home. Why? Why not? Finnish is extremely difficult to learn, with lots of compounded words. Here’s one of them lentokonesuihkuturbiinimoottoriapumekaanikkoaliupseerioppilas, although unless you are a non-commissioned student officer mechanic for airplane auxiliary jet engines, you probably won’t need to use it. Other than the Northern lights, the entertainment highlight is the Wife Carrying Championships. Milk is considered the national drink, but other popular tipples are sima, a low alcohol mead, Salmiakki Koskenkorva, a liquorish flavoured liquor and aloviina, which is a brandy cut with a grain spirit. Kippis.


Quokkas discover white gold

Because the tour was somewhat hastily arranged, there wasn’t time to put the usual tourist pack together with some information about our destination. So, I will do that now.

Southend, closed since 1960, is tucked conveniently on the arse end of England, and is the murder capital of Essex, home to more drive through fast food restaurants per square mile than anywhere else in Britain and famous for being the home of the Access credit card. Home to the Shrimpers, a county lines issue and serious lack of culture. We recommend vaccinations for typhoid, cholera, yellow fever and rabies. Exemptions applicable to anyone that has visited Benidorm in recent years.


Recorrido por Benidorm

“So, where are we going on tour this year Skip?”

“We’re off to sunny Spain Seagull.”

“Oh, brilliant. I adore Spain. I love Espania. It’s is such a beautiful country. So much culture and amazing visual, historical and dining experiences.

“and we’re getting a villa on the Costa Blanca”

“That’s wonderful…the south eastern province has so much Greek, Phoenician, Carthaginian and the Roman history, there is also the Castillo de Santa Barbara, the Guadalest valley and the Fuentes d’algar, plus you can eat paella, arroz a banda or denia prawns accompanied by a fine Alicante Bouschet or Alicante Henri Bouschet.